Before the wedding
by zsuzsi
Summary: Tsukasa x Ryuji
1. Chapter 1

Ummm... this is my first fanfic, so you know the drill... constructive criticism nice, flaming cheerfully ignored. I haven't read TCP in a while so please let me know if I've scewed up something painfully obvious.  
  
  
  
  
You see that guy? the kumiin asked.  
his young buddy nodded.  
Well, that's the Durga.  
The Durga? the new guy almost chocked. but, that's a guy!  
nope, that's the Durga. She just dresses like that, you know, because it's more convenient.  
  
He came into her room that night, instead of coming as he usually did, in the morning. She was flipping through the math textbook and making notes on a pad of paper but he could see her foot twitching under the desk, a nervous gesture. Tsukasa had never been really good at any that involved sitting in one place for an extended length of time.  
Still studying? He asked. He was a little jealous, he'd had to quit school the year before. No more time to sit staring at Tsukasa, the Kuryugumi needed him more. Besides, now that she was always here, there wasn't any reason, really.  
Recently she'd been attending more regularly, and putting in extra time reviewing the stuff she hadn't bothered to learn before. She even told him she was too busy to bodyguard when he had meetings during the day, so he would end up attending with only Bun.   
She looked up from her books and smiled. I'm determined, she said, I'm going to graduate high school.  
He put his hand on her shoulder and felt her stiffen slightly under the touch. She kept talking, a little bit more quickly than she needed to.  
I think Mom and Dad would have wanted, that, you know? Though Taku-niichan had to quit Toshi and Sho are both managing to do it, I don't want to be the only one...  
Ryuji nodded. They had talked about this before. I understand, he said, I still think you're right. He couldn't help putting in one jealous little jab, though. I miss you.  
Well, after school is done...  
They'd been dancing like this for weeks now, their conversations always reached the point of talking about graduation and then petered off. Tonight, Ryuji was tired of it. He wasn't the one avoiding the subject of the future.   
, he said. After graduation.  
I said I'd go through with it, didn't I? Tsukasa answered. Ryuji, I really do love you.  
I know you said you didn't want things to be complicated, but you do understand, don't you? it can't be a small wedding.  
I understand.  
He decided to tease her a little bit. Tsukasa so serious and unemotional made him nervous.  
You can't wear your protector, you know?  
She smiled at him. I know.  
It was just that nothing had happened between them, since they had gone to visit her brothers. Tsukasa seemed to feel that things had all been spelled out. She'd said yes, hadn't she? Said that she wanted to marry him? Somehow saying yes to him made her think that it was all right to behave as if she was living in a lead room, next to him but completely distant. He was making all the goddamn arrangements. Was that normal? He thought that usually girls liked to plan this sort of thing, their big day. For god's sake, even Asago was more involved, right now, that Tsukasa was.   
Have you talked to your brothers recently?  
I talked to them. She looked up at him again, with wide eyes, earnestly. Ryuji, Taku-niichan doesn't like it, you know he never will, but he said it was all right. Besides, they aren't my real family, so...  
Why was she saying that now? Everything was turning sour again, everything was getting lost. Why the hell was she like this? Pre-wedding jitters?   
I need you to come with me tomorrow. I'm going to see Tamura and you know that he's going to deny involvement with the gun-runners we captured.  
This was the other part that had changed, he was trying to get her more involved in the affairs of the clan. He made a point of making sure that she knew everything he did, as much as possible, about every dealing they were involved in. He wanted her to be ready to take a place next to him as an equal. The kumiin accepted her but he didn't ever want them to have a reason to doubt that.   
I can go, She said. Tamura's not the brightest guy, and he might try something, but I didn't think he even has the manpower right now to make it successful. I'll enjoy wrapping my chain around his neck.  
Ryuji decided to let that one, the implication that she liked hurting people, slide. Tsukasa might say things like that but she didn't really mean them. She was like he was, they both liked to fight - but fighting people and hurting people were two entirely different things.   
He hadn't taken his hand away when she tensed up, now he tried stroking her hair. She didn't seem to mind but she didn't respond either, she just sat there at her desk, looking up at him. Her eyes were so big, and when she stared straight into you it was like being hollowed out and then re-stuffed in a moment. He wondered how anyone could ever look at her and think that she was a boy.   
She was in love with him, wasn't she? He couldn't leave her as cold as her just sitting there was making him believe. I want, he said, I want... He knelt down, and knew that if he reached up under her shirt he could unfasten the protector with an easy snap.   
  
  
  
It was all right, wasn't it? Asago was sleeping with Munakata , Dr. Meiko had a hairy kumiin Tsukasa sometimes caught sneaking out of the lab at odd hours, or late at night. She thought of her Wakasa's last letter to her, from the cd that had been buried for so long in her first protector.   
I didn't love him, She had said, He said if I slept with him once, he'd get over me.  
She remembered Ryuji tracing delicate circles around her breasts the night before. She hadn't enjoyed it, but she hadn't hated it either. She couldn't say something like that to Ryuji, could she? It wasn't right, it wasn't the way things were supposed to be, and it was just to embarrassing. She just hadn't quite known what to do, or how to respond. Ryuji had done things like that before, with other woman, but she bit her lip wondering how he could do something so _private_ with anyone at all. Maybe she was too much like Wakasa, too sexless, to suddenly turn into a proper woman. Or maybe years of Ryuji walking in on her changing or occasionally trying to feel her up wasn't really an appropriate preparation for something like _that_. Tsukasa lay in bed, dreamless, until she felt Ryuji waking up and moving away from her. Then she could breath again. What time was it? She reached toward the clock and her hand managed to hit something softer instead.   
Owww! Damn! She woke up enough to realize that she'd stuck her finger in Ryuji's eye.   
She said, sorry! sorry!  
That's ok, He said, suddenly sitting up. How did you sleep? He asked, leaning over...  
Oh no! Said Tsukasa, It's already eight o'clock!!!! She jumped up and ran to the closet. Where's my uniform???  
Ryuji had just managed to avoid kissing the futon good morning. I thought you might want to sleep in. He said.   
NO! I can't miss my morning classes. Was it possibly for any other human to get dressed so quickly? Ryuji watched lazily as Tsukasa hopped around the room, stuffed her books in her bag and ran out the door.   
Despite Dr. Meiko's best attempts. He thought to himself, she's still talking like a guy. But, the main thing was, that she seemed pretty desperate to get out of his sight. But, freaking out over school was just like Tsukasa. She was embarrassed, he thought, she was probably shy. Happily Ryuji found his jacket and fumbled in the pocket for a pack of cigarettes. 


	2. Chapter 2

The nice thing about school was that everyone still thought she was a boy. Of course, there were a few exceptions, Tsubaki and Sumire had been aware for a while, but they kept her secret and most of the time treated her as if she was a real guy. It had been three weeks since sleeping with Ryuji and school was becoming her favorite place. She usually arrived early and found projects to keep her busy after it was over. As Sandaime, Ryuji kept more appointments in the evening and she had gotten very good at showing up just before the car left, kicking some major ass when necessary, and then disappearing into her room to work. She liked to fight. It felt good move her body, to feel like she was protecting Ryuji, to get any anxiety in her system out of her system through a good workout. Ryuji had been following her, pestering her, saying that they needed to have a talk (when had Ryuji become one of these people who wanted to talk?) but she told him that she just needed a little time and strangely enough he accepted this explanation and backed off.   
She was a week late, and she started to suspect she might be pregnant.   
For which she could not forgive Ryuji.  
After all, wasn't he the one that was supposed to know about this stuff? Somehow she had just expected him to be prepared. Maybe... but maybe... she thought back to their sleeping together and all she could imagine was that she'd made a mess of it, that a real woman would have known what to do and wouldn't have had these problems. Well, whatever, if she was pregnant that pretty much proved she was a real woman. She imagined a kid, Ryuji's, or a little Tsukasa who would be another Durga, one more little girl who'd be a great fighter but grow into a woman who couldn't get a rise out of anything but fighting. She'd just laid there like a log, that couldn't be right, and it wasn't that it hadn't felt good but that it had just been too embarrassing and too surreal to be understandable. When you tell someone you're in love with them, she thought, isn't that what it really means? That you want to sleep with them? What the hell are all those romantic feelings for, otherwise? Something was wrong with her, she was too messed up, by Wakasa's genes, or by growing up as a boy, and the sex thing that should have been natural just wasn't. She still loved Ryuji, but was it really fair to him? If he wanted to, she supposed she would let him sleep with her again. But the thought was frightening, it made her shudder a little bit. If she had to do it again it would be just one more proof that she was inadequate.   
In addition to school, she threw herself into fighting, into crushing Ryuji's enemies. When I fight, she thought, I can do something right. Perhaps this is the way I was meant to show my love, by fighting.   
Recently the conflict had been with the White Hawks, basically a gang that fancied themselves something better, self declared yakuza. They had tried to sneak in at the borders of the Gumi's territory. Ryuji felt that just pushing them out again wouldn't be a strong enough response, and Tsukasa agreed. As an organization, the White Hawks would be wiped off the face of the earth. A couple of brief scuffles had ensued, but the Hawks, guerrilla like, had simply abandoned their leaders and become a less organized, but somewhat more malevolent organization. They were not a threat to the gumi, but in order to attack Ryuji they had left pipe bombs at a restaurant he was supposed to frequent and viciously attacked a small group of kumiin unlucky enough to be caught alone. Tsukasa felt like some intelligence work was necessary and so she made a point of walking around alone late at night in the Hawk's area. She was fairly recognizable in the gumi these days - when the Hawks caught up with her she beat the crap out of them and got one to admit that they'd been hanging around in the back rooms of a certain club.  
Ryuji absolutely hit the roof when he found out what she'd done.  
It's fucking dangerous! He told her. You're my bodyguard, aren't you? So you aren't supposed to go off on your own like that.   
I think it was worth it. She told him. The club where they've been staying, that belongs to Akito Hayashi, doesn't it?  
Ryuji nodded.   
Financially, he's been having problems since you withdrew your support last year. It isn't unreasonable to think that he'd bear a grudge.   
Ryuji shook his head. I already know that, idiot. Why are you so intense about this? They're just small fry, with or without Hayashi. But you're chasing them like they're a major threat.  
She hated it when Ryuji sat at his desk and made her stand in front of it to report. I'm just trying to protect you! She said. It shouldn't matter if the threat is big or small.  
The I'm trying to protect you' was enough to raise a single eyebrow raise from Bun, who waited politely in the corner.   
She yelled at him.   
Ryuji sighed. You're right. He said, But I also want you to listen to me, occasionally.  
Tsukasa looked down at her feet. I understand. She told him.   
Could you leave for a minute? He asked Bun.  
Oh, crap, he was trying to start _talking_ to her again, she thought. Instead, when Bun left the room, he leaned back in his chair and looked at her, crossing his arms.   
Ryuji, she thought. Ryuji. If you don't stop looking at me like that I'm going to break down and cry, right here.   
I think we should cancel the wedding. She told him.   
He didn't answer.   
I've been thinking. She said. How could she explain this, she wondered? She didn't exactly understand it herself. I'm too screwed up', maybe, or I make a good fighter but the sex thing just freaks me out.  
It's my fault. Ryuji said. I pushed things too much before.  
No, you didn't. Not really.  
He went on, I think you're being a coward.  
I am not! She said.   
You are! He said. You're afraid of commitment.  
Ryuji was exceedingly proud of himself. He has been reading the book, Women Who Love Men and The Men Who Can Never Understand Them, lent to him by Asago. Asago had also forced Munakata to take careful notes over the whole thing. The two of them swore it saved their relationship after she had caught him getting head from police secretary on the third floor. He hadn't really talked to Asago about how weird Tsukasa was being, but he suspected she could tell that things were strained... at very least Tsukasa's constant disappearing act was a strong clue.   
I'm not afraid of commitment! Tsukasa yelled.   
I won't cancel the wedding. said Ryuji.  
She stormed out.   
Bun slunk back in.   
She hasn't been the same, recently. He said.   
Gee, you think?  
Not for the first time, Ryuji wished that Kamo was still around. He needed someone to talk to, someone he could talk to about personal stuff. He wondered if Tsukasa hadn't been ready to have sex, if that was why she was avoiding him now. Or if he was a really, really bad lover. Or if it was just a girl thing.   
Maybe you'd better get someone to follow her for a few days. He told Bun. Just to make sure she doesn't turn into the masked vigilante of justice.  



	3. Chapter 3

When she was younger, she had wanted to be a cop. But somewhere along the line with Ryuji that dream had been hopelessly lost, there was no way she could be a policewoman and fight by his side with the Shinsengumi as well. She still regretted that, a little bit, though if she had to make the choice again it would be exactly the same. All her classmates were getting ready for graduation, to work or to enter universities. And there she was, sitting at her desk, listening to the teacher drone on about lines-tangent-to-the-second-derivative and getting married after graduation, just like some stupid little girl with nothing in her future but house-cleaning and cooking and welcoming the husband home with a pair of slippers and a hot cup of tea. Not that there was anything wrong with those things, necessarily. But they weren't the sort of things she was good at. Asago was getting married too, and she didn't think Asago was a stupid little girl. Asago had mellowed out a lot since the days when she had been engaged to Ryuji, she was more straightforward and perhaps, Tsukasa thought, a little more feminine. But she could still shoot between the eyes of a sparrow at 500 feet. Going to the range relaxes me Asago had told her. But honestly, these days I feel relieved that I'm not going to have to rely on that still my entire life. I worry more about Munakata getting hurt, because I can't always be there with him. He said he'd protect me. And you're going to protect Ryuji. Which do you think that's better? Having your husband protect you, instead of, like the Durga, you protecting him? Either way it's exhausting.  
Her classmates avoided asking her about her plans for the future. The generally accepted rumor was that she was going to become a full-time yakuza, in which case she really couldn't tell them about it anyway.   
She was also now an entire three weeks late and popping pepto-bismol like they were tic-tacs. Which was pretty much equivalent to the amount of relief they were providing. The little home pregnancy kit she had serrepticously purchased and used in the gas station rest room came up with little blue (+)es.   
She could see Dr. Meiko in Ryuji's clinic, but if she did then everything would get passed on to Ryuji. She had enough money these days to go to the hospital and pay in cash, which she thought would grant her effective anonymity.   
Mr. Kozuki? Her teacher asked. Could you please come to the board and tell me what the sign of the derivative suggests?   
The serious temptation was to throw up all over his shoes.   
  
She's moving out. Bun had assigned no less than 3 tails to Tsukasa. The idea was that they would rotate weeks, therefore making themselves less visible. The young guy, Sawara, was one of the best - she hadn't noticed him yet. In addition, he already understood the first rule of Tsukasa-watching, which was to call back as soon as she started to go anywhere. Otherwise the chances that she would spot the tail, catch them in an alleyway, and leave them behind with no cellphone or any other way of contacting headquarters to let them know she was gone.   
She's at the hospital. He told Bun. She's going in, wait, she's coming out.  
Tsukasa had just realized that going into the hospital wearing her protector and a boy's high school uniform - and explaining that she thought she might be pregnant - might not be a really good idea. She stood by the main entrance and looked up and down the street. For an instant she caught the gaze of a skinny man reading the newspaper, and she nodded at him vacantly. There was a clothing boutique on this road, she seemed to remember.   
Oh, crap! Sawara said. Crap, crap. I think I've been spotted.  
Bun sighed. Well, just keep an eye on her as long as you can, while she stays in public places. But if you lose her don't worry about it.  
She found her way to the boutique and bought the cheapest outfit she could find, a skirt that flared slightly around the knees and a t-shirt with a simple design glossed onto the front. They didn't match at all but she decided that wasn't really the point. She changed in the train station restroom (she was beginning to feel a real connection with public restrooms) and marched back to the hospital. She was still wearing regulation school uniform shoes but hoped that they somehow fell into the big-and-clunky fashion.   
She's back! Sawara yelled. She's changed her cloths, she's dressed like a girl now.  
You haven't lost her?   
Shit, Sawara thought, this was easy. The change in the restroom was really amateur. It was like she wasn't even trying.


	4. Chapter 4

, Ryuji said. She changed clothes, and went back to the hospital. After ten minutes you followed her and told the receptionist you were looking for your girlfriend. And she directed you to Dr. Ooyama's office. He glanced at Dr. Meiko. Do you know him?  
She shrugged. Not at all. But if you want I can go and try to talk to him.   
Certain thoughts were flashing through Ryuji's mind. 1) Tsukasa has contracted an incurable disease and doesn't want me to know. 2) Tsukasa has an embarrassing STD (how the hell did she contract it?) 3) Tsukasa had a wart she needed freeze-dried off and, once again, she doesn't want me to know. The wart in particular came to mind because he had had to get Dr. Meiko to do one just a few days before.   
  
  
  
Meiko slunk into Dr. Ooyama's office the next morning, trying to look serious and professional but at the same time friendly and confidential.   
I can't really discuss my patients. He told her. Surely, as another doctor, you understand that. He looked severely disapproving.   
She decided to cut the crap.   
She said. When I said I was in private practice... It's very private, do you understand? The family I work for has a lot of influence.  
And this girl is - what? their daughter?  
She wondered if that had been the best lie, but it seemed better then trying to explain the truth. She said. Her father is very worried about her.  
Ooyama seemed to be the scholarly rather than the worldly sort but she was fairly certain he could figure out that very private family practice meant yakuza or something equally intimidating, and that withholding information wouldn't really be wise. Finally he sighed.  
He said, I'll talk to you, but only because I was a little bit worried about the girl yesterday.  
How so? Meiko asked.   
Well, for starters, I'm a GP. She came in and said she needed a pregnancy test, so I gave her one, and she is. She didn't seem very startled by the news, or even really that concerned about it. He trailed off. I figured she was just another embarrassed teenager who didn't want her parents to find out, which I gather from you is exactly what it is. But it isn't really normal for her to be so _detached_. I tried to give her information about vitamins and obstetricians and follow-ups and she was practically wandering out of the room. Maybe she'd decided to get an abortion?  
Well, that was a surprise. Meiko hadn't really thought that Ryuji and Tsukasa were... well, intimate. Especially since they seemed to have drifted somewhat apart since Ryuji quit school and Tsukasa became more determined to graduate. And obviously Tsukasa had decided not to mention it to Ryuji. As she left the office Meiko's cell phone started to buzz and she answered it impatiently.   
I'm sorry. She said. I don't know. But I'll try again tomorrow, all right?   
Now, to find Tsukasa.   
  
The girl was waiting for her when she got back to the main house.   
Hi!!!!! Dr. Meiko!!!   
Tsukasa, Meiko thought, seemed pretty much like always. Ryuji and and Bun were standing against the wall, watching her warily. Ryuji looked pretty much red in the face, undoubtedly, Meiko thought, he was dying to ask Tsukasa what the hell was going on but equally unwilling to explain that he'd been spying.   
She said. Just the person I wanted to talk to! Come to the lab, ok, I'll make tea!  
Up, sorry, sorry. Tsukasa said. We have to go meet the Terashima boss right now. It's gonna be at a club so, you know, I have to keep an eye out for snipers and stuff. But afterwards, ok? Later tonight?  
Meiko's eyes opened wide, but she was afraid of giving too much away. She looked at Ryuji, hard. Umm... Bun-san will be enough, right?   
Ryuji looked blankly at her, he wasn't taking the hint.   
What are you talking about? Tsukasa chattered. I can't leave the job to just Bun-san... Ryuji will start to think he'd make a better Durga than me.  
That comment was enough to shut Meiko up until they got out the door. 


	5. Chapter 5

She sat at the lab, sipping tea alone, until Tsukasa, true to her word, knocked on the door.   
The party ended a little early. She said, and giggled. Heh heh, I got a little scrap.  
Meiko shot up from her chair. It was just a shallow knife wound on Tsukasa's upper arm.   
It's all right. Tsukasa said. Ryuji wanted to follow me down here but I told him it was fine.  
Meiko dressed the wound. Careful not to look up, she said, Ryuji is worried about you, you know?  
Tsukasa sighed. I know. But I don't think he has the right.  
What do you mean?  
Well, I'm the Durga, aren't I? I mean, practically. Since we've been engaged, everyone calls me that. I fight for Ryuji, and I'm supposed to protect him. So he has to let me do whatever it takes, in order to make sure he's safe.  
What about... Meiko tried to think of the most delicate way in which to frame things. What about the other part? The part of the omote no seisai?  
I've been thinking. Tsukasa said. I don't think I can do that part.  
You don't? Meiko was beginning to feel like one of those shrinks who answered every statement with a question.  
No. I used to think, you know, that it would be horrible just to be the kage no seisai, only to fight for the person you love and not to get anything else out of it - not, you know, a real relationship. But people should do what they're good at and I'm good at fighting.  
But you and Ryuji... Meiko coughed... "you guys have a good relationship. You're the only one he trusts, and the only one that he acts like a human being around.  
Tsukasa agreed. That part's ok. But the rest of it, you know, the wifey-part - I don't think I can do that. She twisted to face Meiko, and smiled down at the doctor.   
I can only be one, you know? One or the other. I can't fight for Ryuji and have a family with him too. If I'm trying to protect him as hard as I can, then I can't do other things at the same time. Maybe... maybe he should find someone else for that... do you think?  
She looked so unhappy at the thought that Meiko almost laughed.   
Didn't you sort of all ready try that? She asked. When Asago was the fiancee?  
It would be different this time. Tsukasa said. Back then I loved Ryuji and tried to just be his friend, and his bodyguard, and I couldn't do it. But now that I'm older, I have more self-control. I think - it's not that I don't feel things as strongly as I used to. But now, my resolve is stronger too. I would really be able to give up Ryuji, if I knew that it would be for the best.  
What brought all this on, Meiko wondered, wanting to give up Ryuji?   
It's impossible, isn't it? She asked Tsukasa. If you're already pregnant....  
Tsukasa's face seemed to close up a little bit.   
Come on, Meiko said, Let me check. Hop up here. She patted the table, but Tsukasa just stood there, and looked at her. Finally she took Tsukasa's hand and lead her over.   
Don't worry about it. Tsukasa said. Did you tell Ryuji?  
Meiko looked at her. Don't you think you should do it?   
  
He'd be really happy.  
Tsukasa said, I just realized. Today's the third of March and Graduation is in June. If I'm still pregnant in June, then how can I go to school? It would be like the world's biggest joke, wouldn't it, a guy with a belly? And weddings in which the bride is obviously stuffed... those aren't exactly classy  
You might not show.  
Tsukasa said, and hiccuped. It's so weird, I never even thought about it before. If I have a kid, I'll be like my mother, I'll just reject it. Like those hamsters that eat their babies. Maybe some nice family would come along and take care of it for me.  
Like Wakasa?  
Yeah. She never cared about me, you know, I was just a temporary inconvenience. And I can't care about her either. Sometimes the sort of love that's supposed to be natural just isn't.   
Meiko sat down. Sometimes it isn't. She said. But in your case I think it is, I think it would be. Because you love Ryuji...  
Tsukasa stiffened a bit. Meiko could see it in the way she clenched her elbows close to her waist. There was something there, maybe.   
she said. It's not...   
Now this was an impossible topic to talk about, without knowing any of what had been going on.   
Sex with Ryuji... She tried again.   
Tsukasa just stared at her. She looked, Meiko thought, completely miserable. Wifey things... She said. You have to learn how to cook, right?  
Tsukasa looked at her as if that was possibly the stupidest thing she had ever heard. Finally Meiko just sighed. Try this...  
  
Ryuji was waiting outside the door of the clinic, smoking. Meiko watched as Tsukasa casually pulled the cigarette away as she walked past. Without responding he pulled another one out of the pack and trotted to catch up with her.   
Where am I going? Tsukasa wondered. Back to my room? I'll close the door and lock in Ryuji's face, if I have to. But, she kept walking past the door, toward Ryuji's at the end of the hall. The kumiin by the door was sleeping and for once she was really, really glad.   
He looked completely surprised, so she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him inside, then let out a great breath of air and sat down on the bed.   
she said. This Durga stuff is stupid, isn't it?  
He just looked at her. He tried to remember what Men Who Love Women and The Women Who Can Never Understand Them (the sequel to Women Who Love Men and The Men Who Can Never Understand Them) had said about this kind of situation. She was sitting on his bed. Did she want to have sex? He didn't want to do it if it was going to mess everything up again.   
  
It's a yakuza thing, I guess. He said, and sat down next to her. the whole idea of a goddess of war'...   
I can't really protect you. As much as I want to, something might happen... I mean, I don't think it's likely, but... Also, I'm not really good with arranging flowers and hostess stuff.  
  
Ryuji, am I a really bad lover?  
He flopped back on the bed. It was your first time, right? You shouldn't worry about that, it's my fault if things didn't go well. She looked down at him. He was blushing furiously. If Ryuji had just made an admission to being bad in the sack then it was also likely that the sun had just burned out and that everyone on earth had less than 8 minutes of light remaining. She wanted to kiss him. How far can I go, she wondered, before I start to get embarrassed again? She put her hand on his chest, and then, after a pause, started to unbutton his shirt. He leaned up to kiss her and gently she pushed him back down.   
Let's go really slow this time, ok? Really slow...


End file.
